Enough hormones to sink a cruiser,
Ended up down the boozer.
Sex, to be really frank,
Usually is just a wank.

It's said to be given by God
Which is odd.
That such a source of torment
Should be heaven sent.

If you're feeling a little frisky
Drink whisky.
If for a shag you gag
Light up a fag.

We all hope for brilliant sex
With or without special effects.
Normally it's pretty tame,
Your inhibition is to blame.

Often it goes too fast.
Mind you once I had a blast.
It was just bloody fantastic.
Now I am a sexual spastic.

Victor